Tw-instant Family?

I have been away from Blogger for a few reasons. A spammer has gotten hold of my blog and has hijacked the comments section. I then enabled comment moderation and for some reason lost my entire comments history. There goes YEARS of support and advice :( I've also changed my profile to private so when I comment on the blogs of others they generally don't know it is me still there cheering them on. I'll probably import to a new home and start again.


This post has been sitting in my drafts for a long time and helps explain where my head was at during my last post.

The decision as to what to do with our one remaining embie has been taken out of our hands. I got a call from my FS who then sent a consent form for its disposal. We were most likely going to transfer it "one day" mainly for closure and if it took, it took. Not expected though as we have transferred 10 frosties in the past and not 1 even attempted to implant.

My clinic is reviewing their frozen embryos for "multi-nucleated" ones. These embryo's are deemed not suitable for transfer as they have a very low chance of pregnancy and a very high likelihood of genetic abnormality. My clinics stance in the past has been to transfer these embryo's anyway as they believed they still had the likelihood to result in a viable pregnancy.

What annoys me the most is that they are labelling this as "new" research and knowledge when a quick google search shows medical journal articles from 1995(!) onwards indicating this. I now have to wonder how many of these types of embies I have wasted my time transferring in the past? I am in a few categories that can lead to more multi-nucleated embies such as a short stim period and a higher number of eggs.

We started IVF in our mid-20's and had great fertilisation rates of 14/15 and 11/11 so it was either a numbers game or the quality of what we were transferring was compromised. I guess we will never know for sure but I tend to think the latter.

The IVF chapter of our life is now closed. The toll of trying so long to get pregnant, to stay pregnant and not having take home babies isn't something I wish to put myself through again. My husband doesn't get it. I don't want to put my girls through that either. The emotions that go along with it all aren't pretty and I want to give them 100% of me. We still have huge debt from our past IVF and related operations anyway that I do not wish to add to.

I think my body has shut up shop anyway. I no longer have ANY type of cycle to speak of.

I wont ever do anything to prevent a pregnancy but don't have any expectations of it happening naturally. You need to release eggs for that to happen and you know, have the sex.